my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
