need another drink. this is the easiest way
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
