we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
