So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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