If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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