Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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