whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
