Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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