we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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