He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
