she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
