I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
