How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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