I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
