I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
