wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.