I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?