yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.