is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
