All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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