people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize