fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
