I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
