Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
