he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
