In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
