i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
