So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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