It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
