Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
