just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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