Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
