That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
