u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
