sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
ttyl tear gas
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
