I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He shit in the fireplace
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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