drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
