Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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