I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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