Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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