Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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