I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
