your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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