He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
