Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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