hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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