I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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