Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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