PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
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