I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
