I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
