He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
