Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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