just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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