she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Boobs speak an international language.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
