so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
