Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
