A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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