Christians are straight up FREAKS
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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