i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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