In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
