if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
