dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
