Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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