I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
