it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
