they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They took my balls.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
