Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
