i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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