haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
