garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
