I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
